Man, ever been into one of the mega grocery warehouse type stores and despite the directional signs that get lost in the airy reaches of the rafters, you’ve been without a clue as to where the food you need is, never mind where you are in the total scheme of things.

They need to pass out binoculars at the entrance doors so you can see the other end of the store, and maybe the signs waving gently back and forth up there in the distance above you in the highest reaches of the ceiling that man could build will become more visible so that you can find the aisles you need with the cereal, meat, canned goods, etc.

Maybe they could include a "You Are Here" map at the beginning of every aisle the way they do at Malls.  Even better, a Welcome Center/Rest Area with brochures!  Perhaps promos on TV’s situated in the said Lounge /Rest Area and throughout the vast warehouse..er..I mean store… showing, for example, what culinary and sundry wonders await you.  Ahhh, I can see it all now…  "Virginia is For Meat Lovers" on Aisle 3.  or "What Happens in Produce Stays in Produce" on Aisle 1.  "Action Packed Adventure" on Aisle 7. 

Over the loud speakers…."Attention Shoppers!  New Tourist Attractions!  See The Amazing Leaning Tower of Paper Towels on Aisle 6!  Macchu Pizza…Only on on the Frozen Foods Aisle.  Hurry Before it Melts! See The Great Pyramid of…um…Golden Ages made from Ensure Products…yours to marvel at on Aisle 3!  Hurry.  Rollin’ Rollin’ Rollin’…Keep them Apples Rollin’ in Aisle 1, and remember folks, watch’cher step haha hehe".

"Remember folks, if you successfully complete the Customer Maze and make it to the check out lines, you win a chance to draw a prize from the large brown box up in the store window. There’s candy, day old bread and dented canned goods. Good Luck folks. "

Enough silliness for the day.  

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