This entry today was an email forward to me.  This is just a joke and it’s not written by me. 

"AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES"

Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables
by getting someone else to  hold them while you chop.

Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the
toilet seat by using the sink.

A mousetrap placed on top of your alarm clock will prevent you
from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the
snooze button.

If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives; then you’ll
be afraid to cough.

You only need two tools in life – WD-40 and Duct Tape.  If it doesn’t
move and should, use the WD-40.  If it shouldn’t move and does,
use the duct tape.

 

If you can’t fix it with a hammer, you’ve got an electrical problem.

Remember: 
All people seem normal until you get to know them.

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Good morning, each of you.  I got the cat up this time, as I have places to go and things to do as the saying goes.  Coffee down, a little breakfast swallowed..ready to make everyone’s day out there.so I may as well get to it.

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