Great Grannie  has a wonderful Ruler at her house called Kassey, and Kassey had a lot to say this morning about her Subject, Great Grannie.  I hope you go read that..it’s such fun.  Now me, Miss Catt, President and Premier of North America have my Attendant under an iron claw.  She doesn’t make a move without me and my permission.  If she does make a change or do something without my permission it is because I am not available to comment on her plan.  Perhaps I am sleeping or perhaps I am thinking.  It’s rare that she does anything without at least consulting me.

I have her trained to my personal specifications.  Any grown-up kitty reading this already knows these tips and tricks for training humans already, but for any kittens who are only just starting to get their Attendants trained..the easiest and least troublesome way to train them  is..kill ’em with kindness.  Now me, in order to ensure that she is rested and ready to wait on me, I put her to bed at my chosen  and appointed hour (I pace back and forth as a pointed "hint" if she doesn’t get on in there to bed for me to warm my feet on her chest and stomach, and to provide her shoulder for my head!) and I get her up at the first light of the day.  I wrote that old adage "Early to bed..Early to rise….."  I grow weary easily of waiting for breakfast to be served fresh and on command.  That dry stuff she leaves out in a little dish in a futile attempt to keep me quiet in the morning..Fffftttt! Means nothing. I want fresh water and fresh Fancy Feast and I want it served now, and with a smile. And I want to be talked to while I eat.  It’s like my morning newspaper when she talks.

I cause the front door to be opened at my command so that I can look at my other subjects outside flying around and running… and I will stay there until I am quite finished and asleep, delaying her from closing the door so that she can leave me alone while she goes away.  Occasionally she defies me my trying to bribe me out of the doorway.  I know exactly what she’s doing..I just allow it to happen so as to keep her under my iron claw.  Just as when I finally get her in there to our sleeping place..I will trill and purr in an almost musical way.  That makes her happy and eager to do my will,   and…the topper…this next hint I will give you kittens, keeps your Attendant in the same position..locked into uncomfortableness, while you can drift off with your feet jammed into your attendeant’s warm pajamas…here it is!!!  Pat your Attendent’s face gently with your claws tightly tucked up into the toes while trilling and putting your face close to theirs.  Melts ’em every time.  I call it P&P.  Pat’n’Purr. 

In closing, don’t forget that posing attractively any time thoughout the day or evening works every time.  My example being: I may have just had breakfast or supper but if the Attendant is in the kitchen where my food is, if I sit attractively posed on the floor looking up at her with unblinking mesmerizing eyes, it works for a Pounce treat almost every time.  Lately though, there is a crimp in my plan..she makes me stand up to get it!  Well, as long as no one can see it, I suppose I will allow it.

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