FORT BIRDSEED (NBC Nestly News) Nest Broadcasting’s war
correspondent Chirp Feathers reports a quiet day at Fort Birdseed thus far.
Seed Defense Force troops have kept the fort under surveillance and reported
few attempts to breach the perimeter. Unnamed high-ranking ALF sources have
told NBC that Gen. McAcorn has had to do a tactical withdraw to regroup his
forces due to the pervasive dizziness of his shock troops.

 

Jubilant birds have taken to the skies to celebrate a lull
in the fighting and have been dining upon the provisions stored at Fort
Birdseed. Several celebrities came out to join in the fun. Sighted at Fort
Birdseed were Brad and Angelina Nuthatch as well as legends like Hugh
Downywoodpecker and Dove Less Fairbanks. Five goldfinches arrived in formation
to lend some bling to the occasion.

 

Will the ALF keep the peace? Will the cease fire hold? These
questions and many more will be answered at the Emergency Conclave of the Acorn
Liberation Front, to be held tomorrow at the secret base high atop the oak
tree. SDF will remain vigilant until a treaty has been signed.

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