1.  She was in the bathroom,
putting on her makeup, under the watchful eyes of her young granddaughter, as
she’d done many times before.  After she applied her lipstick and started
to leave, the little one said, "But Gramma, you forgot to kiss the toilet
paper good-bye!" I will probably never put lipstick on again without
thinking about kissing the toilet paper good-bye…

2.  My young grandson
called the other day to wish me Happy Birthday.  He asked me how old I
was, and I told him, 62.  My grandson was quiet for a moment, and then he
asked, "Did you start at 1?"

  3.  After putting her
grandchildren to bed, a grandmother changed into old slacks and a droopy blouse
and proceeded to wash her hair.  As she heard the children getting more
and more rambunctious, her patience grew thin.  Finally, she threw a towel
around her head and stormed into their room, putting them back to bed with
stern warnings.  As she left the room, she heard the three-year-old say
with a trembling voice, "Who was THAT?"

4.  A grandmother was
telling her little granddaughter what her own childhood was like: "We used
to skate outside on a pond.  I had a swing made from a tire; it hung from
a tree in our front yard..  We rode our pony.  We picked wild
raspberries in the woods." The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this all
in.  At last she said, "I sure wish I’d gotten to know you

5.  My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, "Grandma,
do you know how you and God are alike?" I mentally polished my halo and I
said, "No, how are we alike?” "You’re both old," he replied.


6.  A little girl was
diligently pounding away on her grandfather’s word processor.  She told
him she was writing a story..  "What’s it about?" he
asked.  "I don’t know," she replied.  "I can’t read.."


7.  I didn’t know if my
granddaughter had learned her colors yet, so I decided to test her.  I
would point out something and ask what color it was  She would tell me and
was always correct.  It was fun for me, so I continued.  At last, she
headed for the door, saying, "Grandma, I think you should try to figure
out some of these, yourself!"


8.  When my grandson Billy
and I entered our vacation cabin, we kept the lights off until we were inside
to keep from attracting pesky insects.  Still, a few fireflies followed us
in.  Noticing them before I did, Bill y whispered, "It’s no use
Grandpa.  Now the mosquitoes are coming after us with flashlights."


9.  When my grandson asked
me how old I was, I teasingly replied, "I’m not sure." "Look in
your underwear, Grandpa," he advised, "mine says I’m 4 to 6."


10.  A second grader came
home from school and said to her grandmother, "Grandma, guess what? 
We learned how to make babies today." The grandmother, more than a little
surprised, tried to keep her cool "That’s interesting," she said,
"how do you make babies?" "It’s simple,"  replied the
girl.  "You just change ‘y’ to ‘i’ and add ‘es’.."


11 Children’s Logic: "Give
me a sentence about a public servant," said a teacher.  The small boy
wrote: "The fireman came down the ladder pregnant." The teacher took
the lad aside to correct him..  "Don’t you know what pregnant
means?" she asked.  "Sure," said the young boy
confidently.  ‘It means carrying a child."


12.  A grandfather was
delivering his grandchildren to their home one day when a fire truck zoomed
past.  Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmatian
dog.  The children started discussing the dog’s duties.  "They
use him to keep crowds back," said one child.  "No," said
another.  "He’s just for good luck."  A third child brought
the argument to a close."They use the dogs," she said firmly,
"to find the fire hydrants."


13.  A 6-year-old was
asked where his grandma lived.  "Oh," he said, "she lives
at the airport, and when we want her, we just go get her.  Then, when
we’re done having her visit, we take her back to the airport."


14.  Grandpa is the
smartest man on earth!  He teaches me good things, but I don’t get to see
him enough to get as smart as him!


15.  My Grandparents are
funny, when they bend over; you hear gas leaks, and they blame their dog.