Creative Puns for Educated Minds

 

 

 

                1. The roundest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his

size from too much pi.

 

                2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian

 

                3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.

 

                4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.

 

                5. The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.

 

                6. No matter how much you push the envelope, it’ll still be stationery.

 

                7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering. 

 

                8. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

 

                9. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

 

                10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

 

                11. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.

 

                12. Atheism is a non-prophet organization

 

                13. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other, "You stay here; I’ll go on a head."

 

                14. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

 

                15. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: "Keep off the Grass."

 

 

 

                16. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, "No change yet."

 

                17. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

 

                19. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

 

                20. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

 

                21. A backward poet writes inverse.

 

                22. In democracy, it’s your vote that counts. In feudalism, it’s your count that votes.

 

                23. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.

 

                24. Don’t join dangerous cults: Practice safe sects!

 

Advertisements