"The South"





The owner of a golf course in  Georgia 
was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary
for some mathematical help. He called her into his office and said, "You
graduated from the  University  of Georgia and I need some help..  If I were to give you $20,000, minus 14%, how
much would you take off?"

The secretary thought a moment, and then replied,
"Everything but my earrings."




A senior at 
Louisiana  was overheard saying
… "When the end of the world comes, I hope to be in  Louisiana . "When asked why, he replied,
"I’d rather be in  Louisiana  because everything happens in  Louisiana 
20 years later than in the rest of the civilized world."




The young man from 
Mississippi  came running into the
store and said to his buddy, "Bubba, somebody just stole your pickup truck
from the parking lot!" Bubba replied, "Did you see who it was?"

The young man answered, "I couldn’t tell, but I got
the license number."


South Carolina  


A man in  South
Carolina  had a flat tire, pulled off on
the side of the road, and proceeded to put a bouquet of flowers in front of the
car and one behind it.  Then he got back
in the car to wait. A passerby studied the scene as he drove by and was so
curious he turned around and went back. 
He asked the fellow what the problem was.

The man replied, "I have a flat tire."

The passerby asked, "But what’s with the

The man responded, "When you break down they tell
you to put flares in the front and flares in the back.  I never did understand it neither."




A Tennessee State 
trooper pulled over a pickup on I-65. 
The trooper asked, "Got any ID?" The driver replied,
"Bout whut?"




The Sheriff pulled up next to the guy unloading garbage
out of his pick-up into the ditch.

The Sheriff asked, "Why are you dumping garbage in
the ditch?  Don’t you see that sign right
over your head."

"Yep", he replied.  "That’s why I dumpin it here, cause it
says:  ‘Fine For Dumping Garbage’."



You can say what you want about the South, But you never
hear of anyone retiring and moving North.