A kinder, gentler approach

Preliminary reports indicate that SDI (Seed Defense Initiative)
has been successful in addressing the purloining of food from the bird
feeders across Miss Catt’s realm by malevolent squirrels. Frustrated, the
squirrels have turned against the militant teachings of Gen. Nutsy
McAcorn and his seed stealing Acorn Liberation Front. They have turned
to a new leader with a fresh, new approach to gain them seeds: The Nutty Professor. The Nutty Professor’s approach is to use comedy to gain seed as payment for laughs. So, please welcome the LOL SQUIRRELS!!!

Pictures courtesy of my grandson last week.

Top ALF Suspect Apprehended

FORT BIRDSEED (NBC Nestly News) Nest Broadcasting’s war
correspondent Chirp Feathers reports that the Executive Director of the Acorn
Liberation Front, Rocky “The Nut” Gardenraider, has been caught by Seed Defense
Force operatives in a daring raid. A SDF commando team led by Special Agent
Blackjack stopped a suspicious caravan of seed-bearing vehicles. Seen here in
this mugshot, the capture of the top ALF suspect will put a serious dent in
their ability to regroup.

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Wartime photo correspondence provided with the assistance of Paul. Thanks!

All’s Quiet on the Northeastern Front

FORT BIRDSEED (NBC Nestly News) Nest Broadcasting’s war
correspondent Chirp Feathers reports a quiet day at Fort Birdseed thus far.
Seed Defense Force troops have kept the fort under surveillance and reported
few attempts to breach the perimeter. Unnamed high-ranking ALF sources have
told NBC that Gen. McAcorn has had to do a tactical withdraw to regroup his
forces due to the pervasive dizziness of his shock troops.

 

Jubilant birds have taken to the skies to celebrate a lull
in the fighting and have been dining upon the provisions stored at Fort
Birdseed. Several celebrities came out to join in the fun. Sighted at Fort
Birdseed were Brad and Angelina Nuthatch as well as legends like Hugh
Downywoodpecker and Dove Less Fairbanks. Five goldfinches arrived in formation
to lend some bling to the occasion.

 

Will the ALF keep the peace? Will the cease fire hold? These
questions and many more will be answered at the Emergency Conclave of the Acorn
Liberation Front, to be held tomorrow at the secret base high atop the oak
tree. SDF will remain vigilant until a treaty has been signed.

The Battles of Spinning Seed

FORT BIRDSEED (Col. Sanders Military News Network) ALF
Forces under control of Gen. Nutsy McAcorn launched a frontal assault against
Fort Birdseed at 1118 hours today. The expeditionary force was launched from a
secret base atop Oak Tree Hill. ALF Commander I. M. Nutz began the daring raid
after reviewing his surveillance team reports. “Easy pickins,” it said. He
began the raid by directing troops to climb up the pole to Fort Birdseed. Once
inside the defense perimeter, Seed Defense Force (SDF) Regal Specialist HRH Treasure’s
Agent  engaged the secret weapon,
spinning the intruder off of the fort. Undeterred, the raiding party returned
three more times; spurned each time by the defenses of Fort Birdseed. Lt. Col.
Finger Lickin Sanders of the SDF reports the raids were successfully repulsed,
thus ending the first Battle of Spinning Seed.

 

At 1500 hrs today, a squadron of S-15 Squirrelacopters was
dispatched from the ALF secret base to assault Fort Birdseed. The intruders
were detected by Maj. Gen. Carole Cattservant, who relayed the information to
SDF Agent Blackjack and Chief Squirrelflinger Ringo. The anti squirrelcraft
fire was launched at once, sending the squirrelacopters headed in great haste back
to their secret base. Commander in Chief Miss Catt was reportedly  highly amused by the battle, stating that
ALF’s seed-napping philosophy was bankrupt and its leadership was left “going
in circles.”

Commander in Chief Miss Catt leading the SDF on to victory

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Photo credits from the wartime archive of Paul at The Pic Place  

President Miss Catt thanks her brave wartime photo correspondent

We Have Engaged The Enemy

FORT BIRDSEED (Associated Feline Press) Gen. Nutsy McAcorn of the ALF (Acorn Liberation Front) has
used reconnaissance teams to assess the vulnerabilities of his target, the
impregnable Fort Birdseed. SDF (Seed Defense Force) teams have had the area
under surveillance since dawn, awaiting guerrilla tactics. A perimeter alarm
was triggered at 1115 hours and responded to by SDF Agent Blackjack, who
reported a confirmed intruder at 1116 hrs. Gen. Boopsie Bear authorized the use
of the full arsenal of Fort Birdseed to protect the seed from the marauding and
piratical rapscallions of the ALF. Commander in Chief Miss Catt was notified of
the situation and approved the use of centrifugal force to neutralize the
enemy.

 

Chief Seed Scout Joe Brushytail of the ALF

ALF Gunner Jumpy

ALF Leader Gen. Nutsy McAcorn

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Photo credits from the wartime archive of Paul at The Pic Place  

With my deepest gratitude and many smiles.