Quarterback Sneak – Church members quietly leaving during the invitation.
Draw Play – What many children do with the bulletin during worship.
Half-time – The period between Sunday School and worship when many choose
to leave.
Benchwarmer – Those who do not sing, pray, work, or apparently do anything
but sit.
Backfield-in-Motion – Making a trip to the back (restroom or water fountain)
during the service.
Staying in the Pocket – What happens to a lot of money that should be given
to the Lord’s work.
Two-minute Warning – The point at which you realize the sermon is almost
over and begin to gather up your children and belongings.
Instant Replay – The preacher loses his notes and falls back on last week’s
illustrations.
Sudden Death – What happens to the attention span of the congregation if the
preacher goes "overtime".
Trap – You’re called on to pray and are asleep.
End Run – Getting out of church quickly without speaking to any guest or
fellow member.
Flex Defense – The ability to allow absolutely nothing said during the
sermon to affect your life.
Halfback Option – The decision of 50% of the congregation not to return for
the evening service or Bible study.
Blitz – The rush for the restaurants following the benediction.
Rambling1on's Blog 
Well, you\’re just full of funnies today. Thanks for the chuckles. It\’s almost time for DWTS !
I have your latest photo published on the website now. I absolutely love it! Liz
That is to funny I can\’t wait to share it. Thanks so much
LOL and here I thought I wasn\’t into football at all…I deal with a lot of this stuff every single week though so maybe I am like it or not!
This is so clever.
this is great. hope you dont mind but i sent a copy to my pastor
I remember halftime. That\’s when I wanted to escape but the nuns were pretty tough. No one wanted to tangle with them.
Oh how well I remember "Sudden Death" and "Trap". I loved our Pastor (way back when) dearly but to be quite honest he loved the sound of his own voice and here I was the tired mom of two babies. I fell asleep during his sermons…and (to coin Bob\’s favorite word) Dagnabbit…that dear man would call me to pray. I ran into him last year at a gathering and he still remembered me…..and admitted that yep…he liked to pick on me. What was even funnier was his wife when she said "Aren\’t you glad the old windbag decided to give up pastoring and go out into the mission fields". They are such a lovely couple and I admire them greatly. Both of them are in their 80\’s now and they still go twice a year to Africa.How is Miss Catt??Sending you Hugs~Karin~
lol..who knew prayer could be so tough 🙂
I love the \’sudden death\’ one. It is so true!Hugs to you and Miss Catt.,Beth
Good Morning Sunshine: Well now aren\’t we just the font of good cheer today and good on ya too. Loved them especially the Sudden Death one, I have seen that one more times then I care to mention. LOL It is a lovely day today and there is this orb in the sky that is spreading warmth all over this morning. Just right today. I heard on the news last night that on Wednesday it is going up to 30 C and that is like 86 F. Oh dear I don\’t know if I am quite ready for sudden changes like that. But I\’ll try to bear with it. LOLHow is the Princess doing? Give her cuddles for me. Take care hun………………Rusty ((HUGS))
tee hee ha ha That is great.Hey wanted to ask this, not sure why it\’s been on my mind. Is Miss Cat your first cat as an adult? Why has that been in my head? Who knows! Hope you are havin a lovely week. xoxo
I, at one time or another, have used this entire playbook! Hugs to you both!
Cute! and most of it so true, eh? Lots of fun anyway!
Very funny!! …unfortunately there\’s a lot of truth in it.